Wat Prathat Doi Suthep literally and figuratively symbolizes the city of Chiang Mai, which it overlooks (although "guards" might be a more apt description) from the mountain whose name it shares. Each year, newly enrolled students at the city’s university walk sixteen kilometers up…Read More

Wat Prathat Doi Suthep literally and figuratively symbolizes the city of Chiang Mai, which it overlooks (although "guards" might be a more apt description) from the mountain whose name it shares. Each year, newly enrolled students at the city’s university walk sixteen kilometers up the mountain as a matriculation exercise. For less ceremonial visits, most laypeople (myself included) prefer to take a sawngtaew (a pickup truck with seats in the back) from the city’s Chang Phuak gate, while monks often use a series of mountainside trails that are also open to the public.

At just under 1,700 meters, Doi Suthep is high enough that your ears will pop on the ascent, but low enough that you’ll most likely feel no altitude sickness. This might serve as an analogy for the initial discomfort but enhanced well-being you’ll feel if you choose to deepen your visit with after your stay at the wat’s International Buddhism Center (www.fivethousandyears.org) where you can attend vipassana (insight) meditation courses of varying lengths. Many people imagine meditation centers as either places of low-key comfort or plain austerity, and my own experiences in Asia and North America is have been similar. Notwithstanding the ornate beauty of the mountaintop wat, the Center, located a few dozen meters below it, fits into the latter category.

Looking down from the upper meditation hall at the simple tin-roofed dormitories on the mountain’s slope and the city of Chiang Mai on the plain far below, I felt suspended between the religious and secular worlds. The orientation and basic instruction in both sitting and walking meditation was similar to that at the secular retreat I attended. We were then sent to change into white long-sleeved temple clothing (available in most markets in Thailand for around 300 baht/$10 for pants and a shirt). The opening ceremony, led by a monk, was explicitly Buddhist, featuring bowing, an exchange of objects, and chanting in Pali (the language of the Buddha). I should note that as students are constantly coming and going, there’s an opening ceremony of this kind each evening (as well as a closing ceremony each morning), however an hour later everyone was literally chanting from the same book.

My days at the International Buddhism Center followed a simple, but challenging routine. We awoke at 5 am (an hour later than Buddhist monks) and then listened to an hourlong lecture by the presiding monk on applying principles derived from Buddhism to our daily lives. These lectures, known as dhamma talks, are common to religious and secular meditation retreats alike. The word "dhamma" itself means "truth" in Pali and also can be taken to mean Buddhist doctrine; you’re likelier to have heard its Sanskrit synonym "dharma." Although they reflected a particular Buddhist principle, the talks themselves were entirely secular and based to a great degree on the monk’s personal experiences, much like those at secular meditation retreats.

Aside from the dhamma talk, breakfast at 7 am, lunch at 11 am, and chanting each evening at 6 pm, my only responsibilities were to meditate and to report my daily experiences to the monk in charge. I was also expected to observe eight Buddhist rules (precepts), including silence (which excludes reading and writing as well as speaking), and not eating after 12 noon, intended to deepen my meditation practice. The practice itself, under the monk’s direction, consisted of alternately walking and sitting for 15 and then 20 minutes at a time. (This period lengthens with longer retreats.)

If all of this sounds simple, that’s exactly the point. At the same time, it’s incredibly difficult, not because it’s challenging to take a certain number of steps or to walk back and forth, but rather because it’s challenging to truly focus on them. The center’s location away from both distractions and noise assisted and repeatedly drew me back to these things, however while sitting I often found my mind wandering. This decreased with each passing day, which is what the monk I worked with told me I should work toward. He was both supportive and warm, although he did not give his name, nor did he call me by mine. I suppose that might perhaps have created a further attachment. After the closing ceremony I cleaned out my room, changed clothes, and made a small donation (300 baht or $10 per day seems to be the expected standard expected at such retreats). I left lighter in every sense.Close

Pattaya is a Thai city a couple of hours' drive away from Bangkok in a South Easterly direction. It is a beach side resort that is famous for its nightlife and severe lack of morals in terms of a very public sex trade. There are…Read More

Pattaya is a Thai city a couple of hours' drive away from Bangkok in a South Easterly direction. It is a beach side resort that is famous for its nightlife and severe lack of morals in terms of a very public sex trade. There are two areas to the city, namely Pattaya itself and nearby Jomtien Beach.

===Pattaya===

Pattaya is a fairly big place but most of the action centres on the beach front promenade, which is lined with shops, restaurants, shopping malls, and tourist attractions. There is very little, if anything, of the real Thailand in this place because it is over run with american fast food chains and things like Ripley's Believe It Or Not. Aside from the sex that is very clearly for sale, it could be any town or city anywhere in the world.

Lots of people like it, but it wasn't for us. We liked the fact that there was something going on and that we could people watch quite happily. We would have enjoyed walking up and down the promenade if it hadn't been for the literally thousands of prostitutes lining the street and the frightening number of rats on the beach.

You can buy almost anything you want in Pattaya, whether that be high street favourites or tacky souvenirs of your stay, Bartering is the norm in many of the shops and you can grab yourself a bargain if you so wish.

Food and drink wise, there are lots of generic places where you can get cheap eats. Don't expect fine dining though because it just isn't there. I will recommend the ice cream parlour above the Pizza Hut restaurant though because the choice is amazing and there are some fantastic sundaes on offer.

===Jomtien Beach===

This is a smaller resort right next to Pattaya that is mainly filled with resort hotels. There is a small promenade on the front which could have been a lovely place to walk in the evening if it didn't practically shut down and become so dark and quiet. During the day it is a hive of activity and the small, narrow beach is literally rammed full of loungers, sun umbrellas and snack stalls.

Jomtien is billed as a family resort and this is probably thanks to the fact that there is an amusement park but there is not much else to make it a family resort to be honest that we could see. There are a lot of hotels that welcome gay people and the beach is gay friendly.

Jomtien is not as seedy as its neighbour, but that's not to say that there aren't elements of it. They are not quite as obvious and in your face though, so it generally is a more pleasant place to be than Pattaya.

===Getting Between the Two===

You can get taxis that will cost a few pounds each way and they are easy to pick up on the main road at either end. Make sure you negotiate a price first.

The cheapest and most fun way to get between the two though is a bus. It's not a bus like you are used to, but more of a converted van that you just hail down, jump into the back of and press the button to get off at the other end. These cost a matter of pennies for each journey and there are hundreds, if not thousands, knocking around so you won't have to wait long for a ride. You can get a private one, but it'll cost much more. You are better looking out for one that is already moving and has people in it so you know they aren't going to make you want until it is full.


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Bangkok really is a crazy city that has so much culture, fascinating architecture and fabulous sites. You could spend a lifetime here and no see everything, but since most people have a couple of days in the city, here are some of the things that…Read More

Bangkok really is a crazy city that has so much culture, fascinating architecture and fabulous sites. You could spend a lifetime here and no see everything, but since most people have a couple of days in the city, here are some of the things that I think you have to see . . .

1. Grand Palace

Grand Palace is a very aptly named sprawling complex of fabulous buildings and temples that definitely warrant a least a half day visit. It isn't cheap to get in (compared to other things in Thailand) at around £12 per person, but it is an expenses worth spending. The centre piece is the Temple of the Emerald Buddha (which is actually made of jade - you can find out more inside), which is very impressive. I have to admit, I'm not big on religious buildings but the interior of this one is packed full of fascinating features. There are lots of other buildings in the complex, but more of them are best enjoyed from the outside, where you can get some amazing pictures. The place is so big that even though it is busy, you don't really feel crowded at any point. Also bear in mind that it is a religious building so you will have to abide by the rules and cover your shoulders and knees and don't wear anything skintight or see-through.

2. Wat Arun

Wat Arun is one of the most familiar sights in Bangkok and it is the one that tends to dominate postcards and other souvenirs from the city. It is very well preserved and well worth a visit if you are in the area, even if temples are not really your things, because it is an impressive building and offers splendid views. The building is fantastic and gets even more so the closer you get, with lovely detailed frescos and layers upon layers of intricate stone work. It is nicknamed the temple of the dawn because it is the first place to catch the morning light. To be honest I thought it was going to be more colourful than it is; from a distance it actually looks fairly grey. But that is deceptive because when you get up close it is very colourful. Almost like a mosaic, there are hundreds of coloured tiles up and down the temple that add to the ornate look.You can’t go into the temple itself, but walking around it is cool enough. You can however climb up the outside of it, which was one of the best things about it. You may think my choice of word (climb) was a strange one, but that is indeed what you need to do. There are stairs alright, but Western health and safety laws do not apply here, and they are some of the steepest stairs I have ever seen! I am what they call ‘vertically challenged’ and so I had to literally cling to the hand rails to haul myself up. It takes it out of you, that’s for sure, but the effort is so worth it because the views are spectacular. The temple costs 30 Baht for foreigners to enter; it is free for Thai nationals, but it seems to be visited by tourists in the most part.

3. Dining Under the Stars

Bangkok, like most major cities, is full of skyscrapers. The difference here is that you can wine and dine at the top of a few of them under the stars. The first option is the Sky Bar at Sirrocco which featured in the film Th Hangover. Another option is Vertigo Moon Bar at the Banyan Tree. Neither are cheap and you'll have to book in advance (bear in mind that the residents of the hotels that they are both in get preference over 'outsiders'), but the food is good and the views are obviously spectacular. Worth treating yourself if you have anything left in the budget.

4. Fishy Fun

Siam Ocean World is located in the shopping district of Bangkok on the lower floor of the Siam shopping mall. It’s not the cheapest place to get into, especially when you compare it to the prices of other attractions in Bangkok, but it is worth a visit if you have a spare afternoon and you are all templed out. The price reflects which parts of the attraction you want to see and take part in. You can do things like diving with the sharks in the huge tanks and back room tours. We opted for one of the more basic packages which cost about £20 per person and included entry to the aquarium, a drink and some popcorn, a back room tour, a boat ride and film showing, which we thought was quite good value for money.The aquarium is split into different zones, which makes it easy to explore. When you get your tickets, you get a pretty good map which shows you the zones and the location of the extra features as well as giving details about feeding times in the various areas. Overall I thought the aquarium was very good. It is well maintained and there are lots of informative displays. It is well designed and a lot of fun for adults and children alike and, even though it is quite expensive, I would say it is worth the money.

5. Kao San Road

This is the back packers destination and it is manic to say the least. it is full of restaurants and bars where you can get a cheap bite to eat or a cocktail and watch the world go by. You can also buy pretty much anything you want (and lots of stuff that you don't). It is the place to go if you want knock off gear, fake IDs, ping pong shows and some deep fried scorpions. It may sound like hell, but it is one of those places that you at least have to visit just see how manic the city can be.

There are hundreds of other things to see and do in Bangkok, but doing these will certainly give you chance to see a bit of everything that makes the city great.Close

One year of adventures, great food and even better drinks was coming to an end. All the people I met and the friends I made were either heading off to new continents or returning back home to real life. Real life was the thing I…Read More

One year of adventures, great food and even better drinks was coming to an end. All the people I met and the friends I made were either heading off to new continents or returning back home to real life. Real life was the thing I was dreading most and what better way to avoid reality than stumbling head first once more into the backpacker haven that Khao San Road in Bangkok is. I had many a crazy night there and incidentally it was where my great adventure started more than a year ago. What better place to spend one last night before catching my flight back home. Arriving straight from Burma was a real culture shock – from the country of curfews and secret agents watching every step to the sight of Khao San Road at 7am. The only people still left were still drunk party goers passed out outside the bars and the occasional local setting up their noodle soup stalls.

Arriving felt surreal and after a night at the airport and an early morning flight my tempers flared when the TukTuk driver refused to accept my 20 US$ note. Grumpy as I was, I went into the next Burger King trying to change my money as all the banks were still closed. Obviously they refused as well leaving me completely desperate. But then my luck turned and this old guy sitting outside burger king offered to change my money into Bath. Grateful as never before I handed over some money and he gave me 1000 Bath in small notes back. I counted them, paid the TukTuk driver and happily went off to find a place to sleep.

Checking into the hostel took ages and thinking about sleep was the only thing in the world that could make me smile at that point. I went to pay, the guy took my money and handed it straight back with the words "Sorry, we take no Chinese Yuan". I was like what?! Turns out the old guy outside Burger King scammed me out of my money and gave me some random worthless currency. Close to tears as I was the guy from the hostel tokk my passport and allowed me to sleep first and pay after the banks open. Torn between finding my "savior" and passing out I choose my bed. After a good few hours I woke up more refreshed and ready to face one last day of craziness. The money I´ve lost meant a few strawberry shakes less but in the end it was not that much anyway.

So off I went and consoled myself by going on a vigorous shopping spree.
When it was time to check my flight times one last time I thought to myself "Hey, let´s have a look how much this random, worthless currency actually set me back." Typing it into xe.com turned up a bit of a surprise. As more well-travelled people than me know is the Chinese Yuan much more worth than the Thai Bath. Instead of having 30$ in Bath I was the lucky and very happy owner of 120$ in Chinese Yuan. Imagine that, all the anger evaporated instantly. That old guy had made me rich in backpacker terms. Somehow I don`t believe that it was an accident. Why would he run around with Yuan and then freely give them to a strange in exchange for less than a quarter of what he gave me. No, in my mind he was this old expat watching over sleepless travelers wandering Khao San Road just after sunrise. For me, he´ll forever be sitting there making people happy.
And that is what he did – he had made me happy. It was not even the extra money that made my day, more so it was the emotional rollercoaster he had send me on. It made me forget that I was heading back to real life and showed me once more the craziness that is everyday life while backpacking.
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"Why Thai coffee doesn’t taste like coffee?" asked me one of the readers of my book Back in Bethlehem. Those who have not read the book won’t understand my surprise at the question. Part of the book takes place in Thailand, coffee is clearly mentioned,…Read More

"Why Thai coffee doesn’t taste like coffee?" asked me one of the readers of my book Back in Bethlehem. Those who have not read the book won’t understand my surprise at the question. Part of the book takes place in Thailand, coffee is clearly mentioned, yet… it’s like visiting Bangkok’s Grand Palace and asking the guide about Angkor Wat. "After all there is a model of the Cambodian site in the Thai Palace," would the traveler justify the unexpected question.

Yet, don’t forget that a European visiting an American coffee shop would exclaim the same at the sight of the wildly flavored coffees offered in the latter. Moreover, the "chai" sold in America is not even remotely similar to Burmese chai. Coffee was introduced to Thailand from Laos, which got the technology from its colonial masters, the French. Little known due to its limited exports, Laotian coffee is considered among the best in the world. Some of the coffee available in Thailand originates in Laos, especially the coffee sold along the Thai Mekong riverside towns. I reviewed the extraordinary Laotian coffee preparation method in the journal love from First Sip. I won’t touch the preparation issue here; after all, what does it matter if the resulting coffee doesn’t taste like my favorite cup of coffee?

The main drink sold in Thai coffee stalls is called "gafeh tung," the general name for all the coffees prepared with a cloth filter (if you want it black and hot, then ask for "gafeh ron," see Between a "G" and a "K" in this journal). A cup can be bought for B10 (roughly $0.33); this includes a complementary cup of green tea after the coffee. Thais seldom drink the coffee black; usually a thick layer of condensed milk is poured into the cup first and then it is followed by the coffee and some water to dilute it down to a drinkable concentration. To end the process in a neat conceptual circle, a bit of evaporated milk is added; the coffee is so dark that the milk added in such a way does not have any effect on its color. After the blend is stirred, the thick, solid brown color of perfection is achieved. The result is much thicker than any coffee in the West and tourists drinking it for the first time often compare it to thick chocolate.

However, my reader was correct. Not only the texture is different, the taste is also unusual. Starbucks serves vanilla and chocolate flavored coffees; adding flavors is a common practice also in Western countries. Thais prefer other flavors, and to the ground coffee, they add ground tamarind or pickled plum. The specific flavor is decided by the staff, since due to the nature of the process, all the coffees at a given moment are prepared with the same filter. As well, the condensed milk contains palm oil. The result is quite attractive and features that lush richness of the tropics, though it doesn’t resemble a proper Italian cappuccino.


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At first sight, there aren’t two cuisines more afar than the Thai and South American ones. I have extensively described both and the conclusions are clear. Thais favor complex dishes, heavily spiced balancing several flavors at once. South American cuisines prefer unsophisticated dishes—just burn the…Read More

At first sight, there aren’t two cuisines more afar than the Thai and South American ones. I have extensively described both and the conclusions are clear. Thais favor complex dishes, heavily spiced balancing several flavors at once. South American cuisines prefer unsophisticated dishes—just burn the meat—with few or no spices. Thais adore blending hot, sour and sweet; most South Americans spice up exclusively with salt, and would claim that saffron is too spicy, and chilies are barbaric. Don’t catch me on the word here; I’m just trying to summarize a lot of data. Bolivians use chilies, but in a limited way, while Thais can also just eat burnt meat if they are ravenous enough.

Then, if ignoring shapes and flavors, something becomes astonishingly obvious. Three main ingredients in the Thai cuisine originate in South America. Peanuts are native from the Chaco wastelands between Bolivia and Paraguay. Papayas come from the Amazonian forests. Other popular ingredients–like guavas, "farang" in Thai, a term used also towards Western travelers–were brought also from South America. Then, the ubiquitous Thai chilies, also originated in the Americas, where they were popular all over until colonial times. Yet, they are used in Thailand in ways that would render them unrecognizable to their original farmers. Most South American would probably refuse to eat an unripe papaya and guava after those being dip in a mixture of hot chili and sugar.

Yet, the undisputable king of South American influence in Thai cuisine is the som tam, a popular salad combining peanuts and papayas.
A fierce Isaan concoction, som tam is often translated as papaya salad. Hearing the popularized English name may be misleading; fruits in Thailand are often eaten unripe adding thus a sour taste to the dish instead of a sweet one. In fact, the Thai name means "sour pounded."
This is the case here, where shredded unripe papayas are mixed with a variety of additional ingredients; the last change enormously, but the most common ones are peanuts and green beans, tomatoes and small fresh water crabs are also popular. Lime and chilies are the main spices added. In Bangkok and adjacent areas, peanuts are generously added. As with most of Isaan dishes, the chilies play an important role, rendering an incredibly hot salad. This is the main dish eaten by street vendors; if looking at their stalls carefully at noon, one will often find a discreetly placed som tam plate. Simply, its heat creates a sense of fullness in the stomach. More often than not, this is a standalone dish, eaten with no additions, though sometimes sticky rice is added. A fork and a spoon are used for eating it; these two are the most popular cutlery used with Thai dishes. The fork is used for putting food on the spoon, which is then used for carrying it into the mouth. A fork is never put in contact with the mouth. Knives—being potential weapons—are never put on the table.

The result is amazing. The core of the dish is made with South American dishes; yet, no one in this continent would recognize som tam or the way it is consumed. Probably they would refuse tasting it, or spit out the first spoon they try. Caramba!
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Thailand—as the rest of Southeast Asia—is awesomely rich in fruits. Their variety is wide and their quality exceptional. Yet, even the fruit-loving traveler would find himself at lost while staring at some of them for the first time. If seeing a durian for the first…Read More

Thailand—as the rest of Southeast Asia—is awesomely rich in fruits. Their variety is wide and their quality exceptional. Yet, even the fruit-loving traveler would find himself at lost while staring at some of them for the first time. If seeing a durian for the first time while in a Thai supermarket, few will figure out that this spiky fruit must be open with a machete-like knife, while wearing thick gloves. The stench following this action will be even harder to predict. Time and again I triumphed over these difficulties with the help of guesthouse workers in remote areas. Unlike their guild-brothers in Bangkok, they have all the time in the world to explain these important issues to the traveler while practicing their English.

One of these odd fruits is the lakam. In its season, cartloads of it can be seen in Bangkok. Yet, these smallish, oval and very spiky fruits manage to scare more than lure. In one of my escapes out of town, I headed to the southeastern beaches, reaching a little known resort town. The owner of my favorite guesthouse—a lawyer from Bangkok than decided to run a guesthouse near a sunny beach—was sitting next to the establishment door with a bunch of lakam fruits on her lap.

"This is ‘lakam,’ I don’t know its name in English," she said after noticing I was studying the fruits with interest.

"How do you eat it?" I asked.

She showed me how to open it without getting the fingers hurt and then handed me the dark-yellow flesh. "Be careful with the seed," she added. The warning was in place, the flesh barely covered a large stone-like seed. The fruit had a peculiar bittersweet flavor which obviously justified its popularity in Bangkok. However, serendipity doesn’t have preferences in its directions.

While traveling in northern Thailand, in my way back to one of the kingdom’s most beautiful places, I spotted in a convenience store placed in the middle of nowhere, a jar filled with pickled loquat fruits. These small, yellow fruits have large seeds and a tangy flesh with a flavor in between a mango and a peach; they are one of my favorite fruits. Originally from Southern China, nowadays they are grown even in my country. Yet, despite my enjoying most of the Thai cuisine—even unripe fruits spiced up with sugar and chili—pickled fruits are not for me. I cannot imagine a more vicious action towards an otherwise perfect mango. Unluckily, loquats are delicate fruits; they bruise easily. Seldom are they available in markets, except as pickles. Shunning the revolting sight, I bought a few mangos, and spent the rest of the way nibbling on them while enjoying the views. After a couple of hours, I arrived at my destination. Two Burmese pagodas next to a smallish pond were almost buried under a lush mountain. Next to them was my usual guesthouse in that town.

From afar I spotted the owner sitting next to the entrance. She was eating something while looking in the direction of the pond. Thus, I appeared to her as an act of magic. One moment she was alone—during the monsoons season few travelers venture into the area—and the next, there I was, greedily staring at a pile of fresh loquat fruits.
"Hi," she said, recognizing me, "Do you want some fruits?" she added offering me the bowl and pointing at an adjacent chair.
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I was exploring one of the lush, green islands dotting Thailand’s seas, when I saw something unusual. Among the greenery, a very simple hut had a large sign stating "Coffee." No other houses could be seen in the vicinity, but that meant little; an entire…Read More

I was exploring one of the lush, green islands dotting Thailand’s seas, when I saw something unusual. Among the greenery, a very simple hut had a large sign stating "Coffee." No other houses could be seen in the vicinity, but that meant little; an entire village could be easily hidden in the steep terrain surrounding the coffee shop. I had no choices; this was a "must stop" spot. Once inside, I was surprised for a second time. I was expecting a simple setup, serving the simplest version of coffee available in Thailand. Since the sign was in English, maybe he would serve also cheap coffee of the soluble type. That was fine; no coffee is too shabby for SeenThat.
Yet, I was welcomed by the shiniest Japanese espresso machine. It was literally shiny, because most of it was made of transparent glass that was kept impeccably clean. Behind it, on a line of equally clean shelves, there were glass jars filled with coffee and carefully labeled in English. One of the labels caught my attention. It read "Blue Mountain." Many consider it the best coffee on earth; it originates in the site of the same name in Jamaica. One of its peculiarities is that more of it is sold than produced. In other words, it is a popular target of fakes. In one of my visits to Europe, I had the opportunity to taste it in a place that for sure sold the original. I may not agree on its being the best coffee on earth, but for sure it is among the finalists. It has an extraordinary flavor, and an aftertaste that is its signature. I had no illusions. The jar probably contained fake Blue Mountain coffee. Yet, this place was so shiny and unexpected….
Next to the machine was the stubby owner. He watched with interest my silent investigation and after a few seconds handed me a menu. The stated prices were very steep for Thailand. Yet, a cup of Blue Mountain coffee couldn’t possibly be sold at such a low price. Except for a few baht, I had nothing to lose. "One Blue Mountain, please," I summarized the preliminary findings of my research.
"So you know a lot about coffee," the owner said while preparing the machine for the delicate task of preparing the best coffee on earth.
"Why do you think so?"
"Just the way you studied the machine and the coffees. I got the machine from a Japanese friend," he said caressing the contraption.
"Is it really Blue Mountain?"
"Yes, a friend from Hawaii sends it to me regularly." At this point, I was worried. Hawaii is home to Kona coffee, which many consider the second best coffee on our blue marble. Yet, I said nothing. Seconds later a transparent cup of coffee was placed in front of me. From its aroma, I could tell it had spent too long in the glass jar, which was exposed to the relentless tropical sun. The coffee had burnt even before being put inside the shiny machine. One sip of the tasteless mix confirmed that. It was impossible to say where that dark powder had been harvested, or even if it was coffee at all. In Thailand ground tamarind is regularly added to the coffee in the markets; as far as I could judge, I tasted pure ground tamarind. I needed to change the topic, and fast. There was a picture of a matronly woman on one of the shelves.
"Is that your wife?" I ventured while taking another tasteless sip. As said, nothing is too shabby for me.
"That’s mia yai," he said mysteriously.
I understood both Thai words, but together they made little sense. "Mia" means "wife," "yai" means "big." Was he obscenely referring to the obvious weight problem of the person in the picture? He hadn’t winked, or given any sign he was joking. He saw my hesitation and explained:
"It means ‘big wife.’ It is the first wife. If a Thai man is wealthy enough to support his wife in comfort, he can take a second wife, who is then called mia noi, or ‘little wife.’" He summarized while preparing for himself a coffee. This time, he didn’t use the Blue Mountain. That was a good diversion; we spent the next few minutes exploring the subtleties of such a marriage. Then, as I was preparing to leave, I respectfully handed him one of the second largest Thai banknotes, expecting to get no change after calculating the tip. "Kop kun kap," (thank you) I said with a smile.
"It’s OK, I invite. Please come back."
Seconds later, the hut disappeared in the greenery; the turquoise sea was just minutes ahead of me.
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If growing up within the realm of a single language, few realize consonants can display as many variations as vowels. Those of us who move back and forth among different families of languages understand that, but this is of little help when it is time…Read More

If growing up within the realm of a single language, few realize consonants can display as many variations as vowels. Those of us who move back and forth among different families of languages understand that, but this is of little help when it is time to get a cup of "gafeh ron."

"G" and "K," "B" and "P," and "D" and "T," are three pairs of closely related consonants. Sometimes, the letters within one of these pairs are interchanged, as happens in the Thai rendering of the word "coffee." In some languages, one letter of the pair is missing, like in Arabic, which lacks the "P." In other languages, in between sounds are added to these pairs. This characterizes Thai, where in-between-consonants are the nightmare of those attempting to learn the language.

A humble person, my goals are often stated in more human terms. Instead of "learning the language," I try to "order a coffee in Thai." I love coffee, as the many entries I have dedicated to the topic prove.

To my horror, coffee in Thai is spelled using the first letter of their elegant alphabet. This letter is usually transliterated as "g" (like in "go"), but it often sounds like a consonant in between a "g" and a "k." Thus, "coffee" in Thailand sounds something in between "gafeh" and "kafeh." At least, it is pronounced using the plain tone in both syllables. This plain rendering characterizes foreign words adopted by Thai speakers.

Then, "hot" in Thai is "ron," pronounced in a rising tone. "R" is another complicated sound in Thai. In Bangkok, it sounds like a Hebrew "r" (tongue on the palate), but outside Bangkok, it is usually pronounced like an "l." Other times it is simply skipped. For example, the masculine politeness particle is written "krap;" however, it is invariably pronounced "kap." In the word "ron," the combination of an "r" with a rising tone transforms the task of pronouncing the word into a Herculean one. I had always failed.

"Gafeh ron," I would carefully say to the vendor at a coffee stall serving hot coffee after the mandatory greetings. Invariably, I would get a blank stare in response, or an embarrassment giggle. To the traveler this may seem odd. After all, they just serve the delicious elixir. What else could I order there? It would be easy to blame Thai denizens on being unhelpful. Yet, think about the opposite case: a Thai in your hometown entering a coffee shop and asking for "gafeh." Would he be served? Would a waiter serve a coffee despite not being sure what the mispronounced request was?

"Gafeh ron," I repeated, clearly pointing at the relevant preparation equipment next to the vendor.

"Gafeh rOn," I was corrected and served a steaming cup with a smile.

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On several occasions I described Thai soups. The awesome variety of ingredients, preparation methods and spicing, makes it almost impossible to make a complete review of them. At certain point one realizes the task is impossible, each soup stall has its own peculiarities and flavors.…Read More

On several occasions I described Thai soups. The awesome variety of ingredients, preparation methods and spicing, makes it almost impossible to make a complete review of them. At certain point one realizes the task is impossible, each soup stall has its own peculiarities and flavors. Yet, the spices box offered by this respected establishments display a Pythagorean exactitude that would make NASA engineers envious. No chance of confusing miles and kilometers here, the basic set invariably displays four spicing options. Before commenting on them, I must say that sometimes other options are available: limes and mint leaves are common additions, as well as Sriracha sauce, nam prik chili sauce, sweet chili sauce and even more exotic spices. Yet, the obligatory spices are just four. Luckily, there is no chance of mixing them up.

Nam Som Prik, literally "water sliced chilies," is a watery sauce of sliced green chilies in vinegar. It allows making the soup hot and sour.

Nam Phla—"water-fish"—is a fermented fish sauce. The sauce is prepared by rubbing fresh fish with salt and putting them into a jar topped with bamboo bracts. Then they are left for two months, the juice coming out is filtered and used sauce; its smell leaves no doubt with regard of its content. It may be enriched with chopped raw chilies, lime juice, and sometimes also garlic. This sauce allows making the soup hot and salty; note that pure salt is not offered in Thai eateries.

Prik Pon, the third spice, is pretty clear in nature: ground roasted chilies. With a deep earth color, this spice is invariably very hot, but its spiciness degrees vary. The hottest Thai chili is a small variety known in the West as "bird's eye chili," but called in Thai phrik kee noo, literally mouse dropping chili. The odd name obviously refers to its small size, but it also has another connotation in Thai. Mouse—"noo"—is a popular nickname used while addressing young children. "Kee" in its own means "dropping," but it is often used to describe negative by-products of one’s personality, like for "lazy"-"kee gee-at." Here, it is used in the same way the English word "bad" may be used in slang to denote a positive thing. This one is used to make the soup just hot. Phrik kee noo is wildly hot—and thus an excellent chili in the Thai world—thus it earned the negative qualifier "dropping." If used as a spice while frying something within a wok—as street vendors often do—its vapors are said to be capable of blinding even many miles away from its ground zero.

Nam Tan, is the fourth condiment. Its white grains should be immediately recognizable; yet, its odd location in a soup stall causes hesitation in its recognition by Westerners. It is just plain white sugar.

The exactitude in which this spices are placed is not casual. All of the four spices are mathematically added to each bowl of soup. Yet, this is one of those occasions were studying the local custom and then following it is not recommended. Thais from Bangkok would add a teaspoon of each of the first three spices and then top that up with a large spoon of sugar. Doing that during the first time one experiences the dish, may ensure it would also be the last time. A graphic description that may ease to understand this is that rice-noodles—strikingly white in nature—often come out pink out of the concoction after being washed in mouse dropping chilies.
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