After two weeks in tranquillo, rustic Akumal, Guy and I checked into the Grand Mayan in Playa del Carmen. It was a last minute addition to our trip--one of the ubiquitous Internet deals and I decided to take advantage of this one. A week in…Read More

After two weeks in tranquillo, rustic Akumal, Guy and I checked into the Grand Mayan in Playa del Carmen. It was a last minute addition to our trip--one of the ubiquitous Internet deals and I decided to take advantage of this one. A week in a luxury resort for $700 is hard to resist, so we didn’t.

The place is a sprawling complex of many buildings, many acres, many restaurants, many everything. At reception they slap a color-coded plastic bracelet on your wrist (which you can‘t take off), take an imprint of your credit card and inform you that it is a "cashless" resort. The room is a long way away and we are taken there in a golf cart, the primary mode of transportation. We are reminded of the old TV series, The Prisoner with Patrick McGoohan. We expect to see a giant balloon roll across the landscape.

We were accosted in the Cancun airport by people who give the impression that they serve some official tourist information function. In fact, they are timeshare sales representatives--hoards of them and we got snared. We finally agreed to listen to a 90 minute sales presentation at the resort in exchange for transportation to and from. The young woman doing the pitching was relentless but we figured the transport was worth about $100 bucks and we had no intention of buying a time share so. . . Why not? Well, everyone knows why not, but we did it anyway.

On Saturday we dutifully headed for the presentation. The property is vast and we went to the wrong place. When we finally arrived we were told that we must present photo ids. Guy had to go back to the room (a mile or two away) to get them. By the time we meet up with Victor, our very own personal rep, more than an hour had passed and we have been asked the same questions numerous times by numerous people--are you members? Are you exchange? Where are you staying? Where did you purchase? We had not yet had a cup of coffee. We are already feeling a little put out and very cautious, but Victor takes us out to breakfast and he is pleasant and pretty low key. He informs us that he is descended from an Italian count and he shows us sonagrams of his unborn child on his Ipad. The buffet breakfast is very good. We’re sitting in an openair restaurant that looks out over a small man-made lake and in the distance are twin buildings replicating ancient Mexican pyramids. A giant iguana strolls by, close enough to touch. . . Very disney-esque. Afterwards he takes us to the model units and the well practiced spiel falls trippingly from his tongue. Guy and I have agreed beforehand not to ask questions so as not to prolong the ordeal. Moving right along.

We make our way to another building and a huge bullpen where the air conditioning is a relief from the midday Mexican sun but the din of a hundred people getting simultaneously pitched to buy timeshares assaults your senses. The presentation is slick. One of the leit motifs is that you can sell any unused time back to the company for more than you paid for it. Only a devoted cynic can doubt the veracity of the earnest Victor who is, after all, a descendant of royalty and a father-to-be.

This is just another permutation of P.T. Barnum’s first rule. I don’t believe that someone is going to sell me something and then buy it back for more than I paid for it. TGTBT. But the seduction is palpable. It is human nature to want this to be true. But it doesn’t matter how much you want to believe. It’s a fiction.

We are informed that 68% of all the people who come to this room end up consummating the deal.

"No, thanks, it’s not for us."

"Why?"

"Because we are viejos and we don’t want to make a commitment to anything, blah, blah, blah."

Victor says, "Ok, I understand, but I need you to tell my boss that I did my job."

We think we’re going to be able to collect our transportation voucher and our $30 deposit and go. Then Guy says, "Look, Eileen--it’s the ball." I stand up to look where he’s pointing out the window and there is a giant translucent balloon--just like in the Prisoner. Victor wants to know why we’re laughing.

We were handed off to the blonde boss lady and we got pitched again and, of course, the price came down. God help the poor sap who agrees to buy on the first pass.

Asked again why we weren’t interested when this was obviously the deal of lifetime with extraordinary incentives that were only being offered TODAY, and today only, I told her I really didn’t like the place. Response: "We have 8,000 properties around the world, five star, luxury hotels in Europe, Asia, South America. . ." There is a pat answer to every question or objection.

Their questions are all posed to elicit an answer of yes. "Would you say that you spend $2,500 to go on vacation for a week?. . "That would be $50,000 over 20 years. Wouldn’t it be better to spend $35,000 over 20 years?"

Finally la blonda gives up on us and we are ready to make a break for it. But NO! Here comes Carlos, who ". . .isn’t trying to sell us anything" but just wants to understand our reasons. What possible reasons could we have not to take advantage of this? The implication is that we are either stupid or very strange.

Victor had previously announced that the company (La Vida) would not be doing airport solicitations after May of this year-- the Mexican Government was putting a stop to it, having characterized it as harrassment. "Which it is," said Victor!!!!

Carlos had a go and we got turned over to the fourth guy. You begin to wonder why they had to resort to water boarding at Guantanamo. Apparently Cheney didn’t understand that there are more sophisticated modes of behavior modification.

I was so agitated I had to get up and walk away for a few minutes while Guy stayed on. I have completely given up on diplomacy and good manners. But if there’s one thing that Guy is good at, it’s saying, "NO." He will remain stalwart, I am sure.

OMG! Guy bought a time share.

Just kidding. . . .

There was a fifth guy and a sixth guy. I lost count. I was desperate to get out. Finally we were released from custody. At the "gifting counter" we commiserated with other couples about being subjected to the "marketing presentation." We discovered that some people were more sophisticated about timeshare presentations and had negotiated all kinds of "incentives." Some were given as much as $250 in cash, a bottle of tequilla, a lobster dinner. . . . Can a really good incentive outweigh a horrible experience? I guess that depends on the person. But it left me pissed off and put upon and that’s not particularly the best frame of mind –particularly when you’re on vacation. My vote would be No.

But remember, supposedly 68% of the people buy the product. According to Victor, the program was "developed by Stanford University." Perhaps it really is the deal of a lifetime! Truck on down to the Grand Mayan and sign yourself up for 100 years (Yes! 100 years-- no maintenance fees!).

I began to understand that some people might buy just to get out of the damned room! The onslaught is relentless.

When we were young we traveled the world. From time to time we would sneak into the fancy resorts to steal their toilet paper and swim in their pools. I was envious. Now I can afford the fancy resort and I don’t want to go there. I believe that’s what’s called "irony."

After being subjected to the torment of time share sales, we are not disposed to like the place. But in all fairness, it’s not all bad. The room was nice and boasted a cheap Jacuzzi tub. But the walls were thin and it sounded at times as though the people in the next room were talking to us. The grounds were immaculately landscaped and quite beautiful. There were several free form pools with beach chairs and beds abounding. At 11:00 a.m. a fellow announces happy hour and takes your order for a big pina colada with a perky piece of pineapple adorning the rim.

So no, it wasn’t all bad. . . But I won’t be back.
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Evenings at El Dorado Royale Resort and Spa are romantic and magical because the walkways are lit and subtle lights illuminate the fountains, pools, and waterfall. All patios and balconies are bathed in soft light while plantings and palm trees have spotlights and the…Read More

Evenings at El Dorado Royale Resort and Spa are romantic and magical because the walkways are lit and subtle lights illuminate the fountains, pools, and waterfall. All patios and balconies are bathed in soft light while plantings and palm trees have spotlights and the moon and stars are reflecting in the water.

A unique experience here, offered free to honeymooners, is a lobster dinner on the beach. All the better if the full moon is shining. Lounge chairs are moved from under the palapas and white, long, clothed, and candlelit tables for two are set up. Tiki torches are lit and palm tree trunks are wrapped in mini-white lights. Being serenaded by a saxophonist, sipping champagne, hearing the lapping water, and watching the moon rise-how can it be more romantic?? If per chance it happens to be a bit breezy, diaphanous curtains can be lowered. This is also a perfect spot for a wedding reception.

On another night you can opt for a couple's massage with champagne on the beach. Sometimes they set up under a palapa, other times under the stars on the sand. At a cost of about $250/couple, it's a memorable experience not offered at many resorts.

Each evening you have a choice of five restaurants for dinner. Reservations are needed at all but one-Cocotal. These can be made at check-in or on a daily basis. Different shows each evening from 9:30 to 11pm entertain the earlier diners. Plan on at least 2 hours for dinner if you order all courses. If you have an 8pm reservation, you will barely be fininshed in time for the shows.

The Cirque de Soleil show should not be missed-the acrobatic feats are difficult to believe. A folkloric Mexican and also an ancient Mayan show are performed on the plaza in colorful costumes and attract quiet a crowd. Vendors of Mexican souvenirs and art are set up on these two nights. The more usual karaoke, magic shows, and newlywed games fill in the rest of the week.

Music begins at the large palapa bar with swings near the beach each night at 11pm. The trouble is that they only play for an hour or so, even if guests are dancing. Following this a guitar/keyboard musician sings more quiet tunes. No disco here... One pool swim-up bar in the Casitas section stays open until midnight or 2am, depending on the crowd. The beach bar is the last to close.

If you want a quieter spot, the Martini Lounge in the lobby building is air conditioned with minimalist decorations. The premium drinks are served in glassware instead of plastic-a pianist or pre-dinner entertainer would make this lounge so popular. It tends to be a bit too quiet.

Three nights a week the party-goers can sign up for a late-night bus to Cancun for an all-inclusive night at a popular club for $40 per person. There is transportation on a few nights also to Playa del Carmen from 6 to10pm. Sign up early if you care to join because the seats fill up quickly and they only send one bus.

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I stayed in an all-inclusive resort in Playa De Carmen, the Riu Tequila Resort. The resort is set amongst a number of other all-inclusive resorts all of a luxury standard. I’ve stayed all-inclusive before but nothing on this scale of luxury. The entrance to this…Read More

I stayed in an all-inclusive resort in Playa De Carmen, the Riu Tequila Resort. The resort is set amongst a number of other all-inclusive resorts all of a luxury standard. I’ve stayed all-inclusive before but nothing on this scale of luxury. The entrance to this hotel is incredibly grand and everything about it screams luxury. The rooms are quite luxurious with marbled bathrooms, fully stocked fridges and optics. We had a room with a balcony but I can’t say if this is standard for all rooms. The fridges are restocked every two days and contain water, mixers and beer. The optics have vodka, gin and whiskey, I think.

The pool is large with a bar on one side, and a spa bit with raised beds on the other. The pool is divided in two and their all loungers around it. Down the steps from the pool is the beach area, crammed full of loungers. The view is amazing and there are palm trees planted throughout this area. The water can be pretty rough. The resort itself is wonderfully designed, full of greenery and walkways. The restaurant has a fantastic selection of food and there is a beach bar serving lunches during the day. They have themed nights in the main restaurants and two additional restaurants serving Mexican and steaks, you need to book in advance for these.

There was a hurricane during our visit and the staff were well prepared and provided excellent service. In the run up to the hurricane they provided extra supplies to all rooms and worked round the clock to restore the hotel after the hurricane. You can walk into town from the hotel, it takes about half an hour but you get to view all the other hotels and there is an area full of pink flamingos. The town itself has some great shops and there are some really good buys here. There are also a range of restaurants and further places to stay. I really enjoyed my trip and at the end of a stint of travelling it provided some much needed luxury. Despite this, if I was to visit the area again I probably wouldn’t go all inclusive as I think you miss out on some of the character of the place and there are so many wonderful places in town that it’s a shame not to use them. If travelling onwards from Playa De Carmen there are buses from town leaving to destinations throughout Mexico. Playa De Carmen is also well situated for trips to Tulum or Chitchen Itza.

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I travelled to Merida from Belize on an overnight bus arriving in the middle of the night. We stayed at The Nest, a really good hostel which unfortunately has now relocated to Cancun. Merida is a city full of culture, head to the main square…Read More

I travelled to Merida from Belize on an overnight bus arriving in the middle of the night. We stayed at The Nest, a really good hostel which unfortunately has now relocated to Cancun. Merida is a city full of culture, head to the main square as nearly all attractions are accessible from there. We visited the Government House Art Exhibition, which depicts the history of the Mayans and their struggle for independence against the Spanish. The artwork is really interesting and the building itself is beautiful and can provide welcome relief from the sun. There is a large Cathedral on the square which is an interesting visit. The religious symbolism can be a bit overpowering but the architecture is worth the visit and if you get the chance to view it at night or see a wedding party, as we did, then it's certainly worth the visit.

The anthropology museum is a price spot for tourists. The walk there is a good way to see some of the city and there is street art on the way. The museum generally covers Mayan history but also contains history on local ruins and the origins of the Chinese community in the area. There are lots of people’s skulls on display that showed mutilation from prior customs (Apocalyto style things).

In the evening there’s a market and there are plenty of shops around the market, which are full of gift ideas, and are often made from local textiles and stone. The streets are cordoned off round the main square at night (I can’t say if this happens every night or just Saturdays) and the restaurants have live bands and dancing outside. It’s a beautiful sight and loads of locals and old couples salsa with each other in the streets. We ate at Amero. It's great for veggies as there is a really wide choice and they have live music whilst you eat, which is entertaining without being imposing. If you are only in Merida for one night I would say go for one of the restaurants on the square so that you can sit back and enjoy the music and dancing.
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Perhaps one of the most unforgettable experiences you could ever have is waiting for you in the Yucatan Peninsula! As part of a wedding gift to me, my husband signed us up for a trip to the nearby water park—with 2 tickets to swim some…Read More

Perhaps one of the most unforgettable experiences you could ever have is waiting for you in the Yucatan Peninsula!

As part of a wedding gift to me, my husband signed us up for a trip to the nearby water park—with 2 tickets to swim some of its local residents—bottlenose dolphins!

The weather was a bit rainy and the water was a little cold, but it didn't matter. I was too excited to care. After we zoomed down a few water slides, we made our way to the back of the park, where our new friends awaited us. Some marine biologists gave us some interesting info on the flippered fellows and then divided us into small groups of 5 people. And then, off into the water we went! It didn't take long for the curious dolphins to see who had come to visit! They circled around us and did a few tricks. And then came the best part, photo ops! Each person in the group received a kiss from each dolphin at the same time! (Surprisingly, their "beaks" are pretty hard and it kinda hurt! But it was worth it!) As I grinned for the cameras, I was imagining just how jealous everyone back at home will be when they see this picture! After everyone got their dolphin kisses, it was time for the dolphin RIDES! After receiving instructions, I found myself face down in the water. Quickly, the two dolphins came up behind me and used their beaks to push the bottoms of my feet! They pushed me so fast I was almost standing completely upright in the water! The pictures make me look like Poseidon surfacing in a majestic wake! It was awesome.

All too soon, however, the dolphins waved their goodbyes, and off they swam. We climbed out of the water with huge grins. It was one of the coolest experiences I've ever had.

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When we left the main road from the Puuc Route heading south, following the sign for Santa Rosa Xlapac, we knew it was going to be bumpy -- the guidebook said the road had deteriorated in the four years since it had been built. What…Read More

When we left the main road from the Puuc Route heading south, following the sign for Santa Rosa Xlapac, we knew it was going to be bumpy -- the guidebook said the road had deteriorated in the four years since it had been built. What we didn't know was how far it was possible for a road to deteriorate in four years. There were stretches where it was gone entirely, just dirt -- or mud. Others were almost worse, with just enough pavement to form a lattice of potholes. And then there were some good stretches -- with fallen trees on them.

But it was a beautiful drive. Yellow flowers bubbled over the edges of the roads, and birds, birds, birds -- herons flapping brown up out of the marshes, swifts, swallows, woodpeckers, hordes of the glossy black-blue birds that are everywhere in the Yucatan, vultures, and one flash of a mot-mot. And then, after a bouncy hour and a scattering of miserable tin huts with solar panels, the site itself, beautifully tended, with a lovely flower garden at the entrance. We were the first people there since 2:30pm the previous day, and those 2:30 visitors were the second in a week. Not surprising, given the road, but a shame, given the buildings -- great tall ones, one of which had two climbable interior staircases. The best buildings were covered with "Do not photograph" signs -- apparently because they don't want the in-progress restorations documented. When the restorations are done, though, these buildings are going to be spectacular--large square-topped pyramids with very steep sides.

The buildings at Santa Rosa Xlapac are carved with wonderful zigzags--none of the Chac-Mool hooked noses from further north, but elaborate geometrical carvings around doorways.

It was utterly peaceful there. It was too late in the day for many birds, but we got a few, plus lots of very leaf-like brown toads and one pretty snake.

It took us an hour to get back to the main road, so by the time we got to Ezbná, it was only forty minutes before closing. It's very different from Xlapac, both because it had a crowd of Mexican families visiting and because it's on another scale--the Acropolis there is enormous. Emphasized by the mowed lawns, it towers up like a baseball stadium or Mussolini's Typewriter in Rome. (Undaunted by its size, a very cute 2-year-old girl kept starting to climb up it; rather than heading her off, her parents helped her keep going -- very charming.) In a courtyard near the Acropolis are, remarkably, actual surviving stucco sculptures: giant red masks of the cross-eyed Sun God, protected by palm roofs from the elements.

We made the long haul that night to Escarcega; we got in late, but the drive is doable.

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The first day out of Mérida, heading south towards the Puuc Route, we stopped at Oxkintok and the Calcehtok Caves. The ruins at Oxkintok were a surprise. They hardly feature in some guidebooks, and we were expecting something small and hardly excavated. Instead, after driving through…Read More

The first day out of Mérida, heading south towards the Puuc Route, we stopped at Oxkintok and the Calcehtok Caves.

The ruins at Oxkintok were a surprise. They hardly feature in some guidebooks, and we were expecting something small and hardly excavated. Instead, after driving through kilometer after kilometer of bare countryside, at last we came to the usual impeccable entryway, with its nominal entry fee to the site's manicured lawns, carefully reconstructed buildings, and a slew of gardeners, two of whom tried to be helpful-for-hire until we politely avoided them. The ruins were a huge array of buildings in various states of repair, from perfectly reappointed to still a giant green bulge in the ground. The best of the lot by far was the Labyrinth, a medium-sized pyramid containing three levels of interconnected tunnels, two exits, and a balcony, all barely lit by clever light shafts which shot squarely though the walls for perfect beams of sunlight to come in. You could tell how many levels deep you were in the pyramid by the strength of the light. It should have been creepy (there were bats), but it was beautiful, lit brown-gold by the light shafts. Plus, of course, it's fun to explore, with some small holes to squeeze through for drama but no actual difficulty. (It helps that we go everywhere with flashlights.)

Then on to the caves. These were surprisingly close to the ruins, as though the Maya built them with tourists in mind; present-day tourist facilities ignore them, however, which means that there is no entry fee, and the site is a bit eerie. The caves start with an enormous hole in the ground, full of tall trees reaching towards the sky past the roots of the other trees at ground level a hundred feet above them. We climbed down a rickety green ladder into the only real jungle we saw in the Yucatan -- palms and banana trees and a watching mot-mot. To get deeper into the caves, we had to scramble a bit down the slope and get out the flashlights.

The caves supposedly go for two kilometers. We didn't go that far, but we went a long way -- long enough that I got scared, and even my cave-loving partner eventually decided that further progress wouldn't be totally safe. There were some beautiful formations -- a lacy white stalagmite which had tiny indentations, or furrows, full of water which looked like rice paddies, a good four lovely feet tall; another white wedding cake-like one; a flat spot covered with tiny winding pathways like worm-eaten wood; and huge sparkly things like sequined beach balls. Just spectacular. But muddy. The deepest rooms were strangely steamy--very warm and wet and full of mosquitoes.

Both sites are very much worth visiting -- Oxkintok for its unusual buildings and low crowding, Calcehtok for its lovely formations. Neither, though, is for the claustrophobic, and I wouldn't want to visit the caves (which are totally without facilities, trails, or safety materials of any kind) without flashlights -- or with children who didn't know when to do what they were told.

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Unless you stay strictly on the most beaten of beaten paths in the Yucatan, you are almost sure to encounter some interesting animals and birds. Birds are the easiest, and sometimes the most spectacular. The motmot is a large, very beautiful bird with iridescent blue-green feathers…Read More

Unless you stay strictly on the most beaten of beaten paths in the Yucatan, you are almost sure to encounter some interesting animals and birds.

Birds are the easiest, and sometimes the most spectacular. The motmot is a large, very beautiful bird with iridescent blue-green feathers and a long tail. It's almost surprising that such a remarkable bird would be common, but we saw several each day.

Parrots are a frequent sight, chattering in the trees overhead. Tanagers make brilliant spots of color in the forests.

Toucans are somewhat rarer; we spotted them three or four times over the course of our ten days in the Yucatan. We had our best toucan-spotting luck in the less-touristy biosphere reserves on the eastern side of the peninsula.

There are also turkey-like birds whose names I never learned, vultures, and the occasional hawk. I'm told that there are hummingbirds, but I never saw one.

Flamingoes are very dramatic in the wild. From a distance, they're a low, sunset-like strip of pink on the blue horizon of the water; close up, they're a constant honking, stirring mass of salmon-colored feathers, set off by dramatic black bills and wing stripes. If they're alarmed, they stilt off through the water at a hilarious run -- though of course you should try not to scare them if possible.

The way to see flamingoes is to rent a boat at Celestùn on the northwest tip of the peninsula, about an hour and a half's drive from Merida. This isn't cheap: $40 for a one-hour trip to the flamingoes, $80 for a three-hour trip which includes a larger tour of the estuary and a wider array of bird life. But boats will seat up to 10 people, and since they depart from a central location (just after a bridge on the only road into Celestùn), you can wait around for other small groups to team up with to split the costs.

Naturally, there are a lot of other shore birds too: brown pelicans, big heavy birds which glide over the water with their wattles wagging, looking jealously at the much prettier, more agile terns; several kinds of herons; kingfishers like sapphires; pristine egrets; and myriads of gulls.

Mammals are harder to spot, but they're there, too. We never saw a jaguar, but we did see an armadillo and -- lurking on a garbage pile -- a coatimundi, a great, red, hairy animal almost the size of a golden retriever, with a snout a little like an anteater's and very surprised eyes.

With the exception of the shore birds, all these creatures were in the biosphere reserves surrounding major Mayan ruins. The best time for animal-watching is dawn or dusk; we found that the sites' closing times tended to coincide with the first fading of the light. The pyramids tend to be a long way from the entrance gates; this meant that we saw most of our animals on the walk back through the woods at the end of the day's pyramid-climbing. Even without armadillos, these end-of-the-day walks were lovely, accompanied as they were by frogs and crickets starting to hum in the dusky woods and the rustle of birds in the undergrowth.

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Calakmul is hard to get to. You don't end up there by accident; you have to want it. And it's worth wanting. Calakmul lies south of the main road between Escarcega and Chetumal, smack in the middle of a lot of empty or lightly farmed land.…Read More

Calakmul is hard to get to. You don't end up there by accident; you have to want it. And it's worth wanting.

Calakmul lies south of the main road between Escarcega and Chetumal, smack in the middle of a lot of empty or lightly farmed land. There is very little on either side of the Calakmul Biosphere reserve, and nearby accommodations are sparse. Do not let this prevent you from going.

The day we went to Calakmul, we woke up in Escarcega and set off with a quick jog to visit the ruins at Balamke, which are remarkable for having a well-preserved stucco frieze of giant toads and anthropomorphized jaguars, and above them all, the very smug face of a sun king complacently rising. The frieze has survived because the pyramid it is on was built over, so that when you go to look at it, you have to actually go in between two layers of the pyramid—the outer one is now held up by steel struts. (You have to ask to be let in the gated door that seals off the frieze area. This costs a few pesos.)

But—and this tells you something about Calakmul in itself—the trip to Balamke was just a side excursion. The drive in itself was an adventure once we left the highway: kilometers and kilometers over roads full of topes (the pyramidal local speed bumps), two different check-points at which soldiers seriously took down our license plate numbers (the second one while a tame Yucatecan turkey sat motionless in front of our right front tire), and then into the forest. Bright yellow flowers closed in on both sides of the road, and then the trees took over. We stopped 27km in to walk a little trail past a lake. There were many shrieking birds around, few of them visible: one white egret, a brown heron, two or three irritable greenish ducks, and a dovelike bird with long iridescent blue wings. But all that was eclipsed by the pair of spider monkeys up in the trees, with long hairy arms and enviable prehensile tails, they are black with ruddy brown bellies and faces a little like those of dogs.

The trail dead-ended in water, though the trail markers, which were little posts driven into the ground, kept going, but it would have been a long and nasty wade to follow them. So we turned around and got back in the car and drove for almost 1 hour before arriving at the ruins.

The ruins of Calakmul were the most spectacular of any ruins we saw in the Yucatan. After these ruins, Calakmul, Tulum, and Chichen-Itza were anti-climactic. There were giant, bleached-white buildings towering above what seems to be an infinity of trees. Huge beautifully preserved pyramids surround a succession of shady, carefully swept squares, gradually giving way to the mounds of buildings that have yet to be excavated, great tantalizing heaps of stone with trees growing slimly up through the rubble.

And because merely archeological wonders aren't enough, the pyramids are surrounded by troops of wild turkeys (the Yucatecan kind, with pink bumps all over their heads and tails almost like peacocks); parrots squawking in the distance; strange, loud, and argumentative burbling birds the size of crows but with bright red beaks, white eye stripes, and splendid yellow tails; a little bird bright that was red all over; and best of all, another troop of monkeys, howlers this time, which are black all over and with squarer shoulders than the spider monkeys. They hung from the branches by only their tails, using their four limbs to wrestle with each other 150 feet above the ground.

We climbed two of the enormous pyramids in the complex and looked over the miles and miles of trees from Mexico south into Guatemala, with the other pyramids poking out brilliant white against the green in the declining sun. And in all this spectacular mixture of ruins and nature, we were almost alone: there were a few men working the gate and a pair of elderly Canadians who had driven all the way there in their camper, but as for the rest, all the company we had was the monkeys.

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While we were staying at the Flycatcher B&B in Santa Elena in the Yucatan, I made friends with the owner, a remarkable American woman named Kristine who abandoned a lucrative career, moved to the Yucatan, married a Mayan man, and now runs a remarkably polished…Read More

While we were staying at the Flycatcher B&B in Santa Elena in the Yucatan, I made friends with the owner, a remarkable American woman named Kristine who abandoned a lucrative career, moved to the Yucatan, married a Mayan man, and now runs a remarkably polished B&B full of homemade wrought-iron furniture about 12km west of Uxmal. While we were there, my partner came down with a stomach bug (no reflection on Kristine's excellent fruit and homemade bread breakfasts), so we stayed for an extra night--a night during which I was somewhat at loose ends until Kristine invited me to watch her niece compete in the Senorita Santa Elena beauty pageant.

The competition was among the local girls, aged about 14-16, I think; the prize was to be a scholarship to the regional high school, something which might otherwise be out of reach for a lot of them.

The competition took place in the community center, which is a large courtyard/basketball court surrounded by a somewhat daunting-looking wall. The audience, which was almost the entire population of the town, stood packed on all four sides of the courtyard, except where a DJ had set up a mammoth array of speakers and the comparative orderliness of the judges' chairs. People were jammed in, maybe three hundred of them; this was clearly a very big event.

The girls first came out one-by-one, sashaying in identical orange dresses, each with a single shoulder strap. Some of them had hitched the dresses up a bit to show some extra leg through the single slit, but other than that, this element of the competition was clearly meant to gauge their ability to stand out in the pre-fab clothing. The next outfits were huipiles, the old local costume--not the shorter dresses you see on market days but elaborate two-tiered outfits, tunic and skirt, which the girls had made themselves. In these outfits, the girls performed a traditional dance which seemed to consist of walking around with raised arms. The final outfit was the evening gowns. These, too, the girls had made themselves, based mostly on photographs of American prom dresses in magazines.

It was during the evening-gown stage of the competition that the girls gave their speeches, which they had written and memorized. Here Kristine's niece (who had otherwise seemed like a fairly ordinary young girl) did something extraordinary: she gave a speech about the morality of suicide, seriously considering when it is or is not appropriate. My Spanish is mostly guesswork and Italian, but I was able to tell that she ended with a passionate condemnation of suicide as too-easy a way out of one's problems.

She didn't win the contest. A thinner, less intense girl did.

I've remembered that night for a long time. The mixture of youthful optimism, charm, and visible desperation among those girls--all but one of whom was likely never to progress beyond the local primary school--was terrifying. And yet I'm grateful to Kristine for taking me. The event was a reminder of how little of the real life of a place we can see when we travel to it.

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